I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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