dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
