something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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