We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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