I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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