well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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