Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
