I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
