he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
