I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
