Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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