new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
