i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
