would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
