My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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