Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
