I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
