I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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