I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
