I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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