the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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