He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
