If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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