Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
