her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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