what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
