she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
