just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
