I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
