so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
