we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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