It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
