maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
