Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
