He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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