Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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