White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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