seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
