my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
