My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
