I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
