pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
