my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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