I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have aggressive nipples.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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