did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
