dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
