U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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