I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
