smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
