I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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